Jaded

     I have always LOVED this job! Sure, I wanted a career in radio, but unless you are Howard Stern; how often do you get to work with naked women?  I am good at what I do, better than at least 90% of others that I have observed, but I do have my faults, sometimes. What I do has allowed me to meet some of my favorite people, famous people, and led me into several, failed, long-term relationships. However, this occupation is probably the only catalyst for building relationships (as dysfunctional as some of them may have been) that has EVER worked for me.
     I have always been a bit socially awkward. I do not get along well with men and cannot seem to connect with women until I have seen them at least partially naked. I used to justify this by telling myself (and anyone else who would listen) that I prefer to see the "prize" unwrapped before claiming it. That is bullshit! In reality, I prefer a woman who has stripped down; physically AND emotionally; before I will even give her the time of day. The nagging, Catholic, part of my brain tells me how sinful this is; the logical part of my brain understands and encourages this...
     It would be nice to find a "happy medium"... Okay, that is a lie as well; I adore exotic dancers! Strippers I can take or leave, but true "Showgirls" are hard to ignore. As drunk as they may get, as many times as I have to pick them up off of the floor before the manager finds them, it rarely tempers my adoration. "Oh, shit, you lost your top somewhere while you were on stage? You are standing in my booth topless? You want a hug? You want to feel the top of my head? You want to shove my face between your fabulous breasts?" How could anyone say NO to that? Men, women; gay or straight... If you can say NO, you are full of shit!
     And... now I am rambling. However, since no one reads this and it has become my personal, verbal (okay, typed) therapy, it is all good! I always work the "long game", but maybe I should reevaluate that approach; it is what ended up in marriage (which I will NEVER do again)!